Skip to main content

The Bachelor is about Marriage? Or is it?

On Monday I started this book:

amazon
Before going to bed on Tuesday evening, I finished it.

Why did I read it?  I think that Grace over at the Camp might have made a mention of it or someone she links to with The Bachelor scoops did.  I don't even watch the show - gave up years ago when the same guy was The Bachelor twice.  I stopped watching it on a matter of principle since I determined that it was less about love and more about money.  I know that most people knew that already, but I had blocked it out of my mind.

So I put the book on my holds requests list for the library and picked it up about two weeks ago.  When I picked it up, I already had a book I hadn't read so when I returned the other in just the nick of time before the fines kicked in, I almost returned this one too.

However, I'm glad I didn't.

The book is ridiculous.  That is my honest assessment of the situation.  However, it did remind me of some very interesting problems we have with modesty in our culture.

Courtney grew up in a pretty conservative family, not religious, but her mother was distrustful of men and passed that along through rules to her daughters.  Even though this quality wasn't Courtney's favorite as a child, her parent's first impression on the Hometown Date were spot on and if she had been able to have a conversation with them before being sent away, she would have had a discussion with them.  They would have shared their reservations and some heartache may have been avoided.

However, this conservative upbringing did the exact opposite of raising a modest young woman.  At the first opportunity she acquired some experience with whoever would help her out.  She doesn't consider herself promiscuous though, she can count the men she's slept with on less than three hands.  What's the number that classifies someone as promiscuous?  I truly do not want to know the answer to the question.

Courtney also discusses how things work on the show.  This is what really got me.  The show is so stressful and competitive that the girls don't become friends with each other and don't have quality time with their date so they can really get to know someone.  Making out with someone is not great preparation for a solid marriage.  Knowing if you want this man to be the father of your children.

Like my new friend Stephanie wrote last week:
Single Girlfriends – marry a good man. Seriously – hold out for a really great guy. Because when you have sons, they will want to be JUST. LIKE. HIM. (source)

To know this you have to talk, get to know each the guy's family (C said she spent less than an hour with his family and he spent about the same amount of time with hers), meet their friends (the only friends they have on the show are the other contestants that they met a few weeks earlier), and have time together to talk alone, without cameras (the only time this happens is in the Fantasy Suit when there are three left).  Additionally, I don't think that when someone is so serious they might be engaged in a week, they shouldn't be sleeping with three different people.  That doesn't seem like the best way to discern marriage, well, not a marriage that you want to last forever.

I don't think that she is a terrible person or that her future relationships aren't redeemable.  I do think that if we want to have successful, healthy, loving marriages we can't approach them like the producers approach The Bachelor.

I did enjoy the 'behind the scenes' look at the show although I won't be tuning in any time soon.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

NAS: A Day in the Life

It's 2015 and Tuesday so that means that we are back at the Not Alone Series !  A huge thanks to Jen and Morgan for hosting and for helping all of us ladies gather together to remember that we aren't broken, we aren't alone, and we are loved by God. Let's get back in the swing by sharing what our typical day is like! Tell us however you like, minute by minute or a blurb about your day! Be sure to answer these questions:  - What is your favorite part of your day? - What is your least favorite part of your day? - Are you making any changes to your daily routine now that the new year has begun? Well my typical day use to be not so typical, but then I took a huge leap and got a new job that is a lot eaiser to have a routine that is pretty set.  I am someone who loves routine, I crave stability, and although I can make changes into my routine, they have to be determined by me to stick.  So a typical day? I set my alarm to go off at 6:46am, I get out o

NAS: Travel

How do you travel as a single lady?! Any tips or tricks you'd like to share? Do you have anything fun planned for this year? Multiple times per week when I'm brushing my teeth in the morning I think about how boring my life is, how I never go anywhere. To be honest that is a complete and utter lie. I mean between July 2013 and March 2014, I hung out on four different continents - let along the time I spent traveling around the U.S. to Denver, New York City, Savannah, Orlando, and my parent's place. I'm the girl who bought a plane ticket to Africa and went into the bush all alone. (it's a great story ) Let me type that again - I went to the Congo, alone! I still can't even believe that I did that - it's the craziest thing ever ... but the most amazing experience of my life. So my off the cuff tips for traveling alone, they aren't super original, so be prepared to be underwhelmed! If you want to go somewhere, just do it - buy the ti

I Look Into my Inbox and What Did I See?

I receive the weekly notes from the Catholic Match Institute since my unsuccessful dabble in Online Dating some time ago ( link ) and today's included the face of one of my favorite priests. A man who helped me become the Catholic woman, for better or worse, that I am today. He is doing a series of five videos for CM through Advent. The first two are below ... I encourage you to watch them and stay tuned for the next three! Fr. Ananias, OSB - what an Advent treat!