Now that would be a fine article to write - and I might even end up doing that here this evening - however, it is a two-way street. This is the nature of relationships. They are two-way streets. All relationships are about give and take - if they aren't, then they are usually contracts and one party is being paid. I don't know about you, but I don't pay anyone to be friends with me ... although sometimes that doesn't sound like a bad idea.
The author's ideas to share with her married friends are super simple and not invasive or even too taxing on her married friends. A quick summary:
- Keep Me On Your Calendar: "You can hang out with your single friends as a couple too. Invite us along even when you’ll be out with your spouse’s friends, or when you planned a game night and only couples may be showing up." Even though we aren't married - we will want to hang out with you - even if it's just with all of our other married couples. If you don't make it weird, it won't be weird for us!
- Make Sure Your Husband Knows Your Friends Are Important: "Because one of my best friends is really inclusive and open with her husband about her plans with friends, I’ve built a really positive relationship with him as well." A very good point to remember, we want to be friends with you and with your new husband. Because he loves you, unless our relationship is detrimental to your health, it will improve your marriage as well. We aren't looking to replace your husband.
- Know That We Rely On You: "As much as you needed us when you wanted to dissect your first date with your current husband, you can bet your friends will continue to need you to share in their joys and sorrows—to be that person we can dissect our budding relationships with." This is so true - just because you got married doesn't mean we've become my own guru about my life.
- We Don't Need Pity, Just Friendship: "I know you are happily married and you want your single friends to be happy too. But it’s hard on a friendship when you feel like your friends wish you would stop being single already. Trust that we can be and very likely are happy with the stage of life we are in now. Help us to be patient by being patient with us. We may join you as a fellow married woman or we may not, but our lives have worth and purpose now." We want you to have a vested interest in our happiness, not just in 'us getting married.'
|My two best friends from high school - Erin, the bride|
in this photo, & I have been friends since pre-school.
Stephanie (on the left) got married back in 2008.
|The latest married gals in my life - the best of the gaggle in|
Charlotte - Devon, MG, & Meredith.