Do with it what you wish, this is my journey - rooted in the Catholic Church's law governing Liturgy within the context of my personal experience at my parish. I will be the first to say that no one's personal explanation would have swayed me nor do the Church documents serve to change my heart. It is well documented - and even beautifully explained by my pastor if you want to read it for yourself. Following is my personal account of how my heart was converted.
Why do I think this happened? It all goes back to one conversation with MC (one of our sacristans at the parish and a friend of mine) who put me in my place one afternoon when I was complaining. I was upset about something the new Fathers were doing with the Mass - maybe it was the candles, maybe the EMCs, maybe the spoon, or something else - and she looked me right in the eye and said, "Katie, it's not about you!", pointed, and then moved about her merry way. They had only been here for a few weeks, I wasn't in the job I am now, and was seriously considering looking for a new job.
That moment was a turning point for me, well, after I got over being furious with her for speaking to me so harshly. I needed it though, I needed to be put in my place, remembering that the reason I go to Mass, that I work at a Church, that I have faith at all really isn't about me, what I think should be, or even how I feel.
This is a pretty radical thing to say in our culture and the Church at large right now, but I still believe it hold fast and true. We shouldn't be faithful only because it feels right or not be faithful because it just doesn't. Truth is truth whether we acknowledge it or not. That statement is the downfall of our Relativistic Society. Truth exists and his name is Jesus Christ, the son of the Living God.
For instance, whether you believe the host truly becomes the Body and Blood or not has no bearing on whether it does or not. Just as if you believe whether being stabbed in the heart will kill you or not, doesn't make the reality of being stabbed in the heart a fatal act. It is, every time, always, whether you believe it or not.
We are called to accept the teaching and then conform our lives around it, not to debate whether the teaching is truth or not.
Accepting the teachings of the Catholic Church is to also accept the traditions and beauty that she also is.
You can read part 1 here, if you missed last week. Check in next Thursday for the next step in my journey, Kneeling for Communion.
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6