“This is how the Lord acts: He does things simply. He speaks silently to you, to the heart. Let us remember in our lives the many time we have felt these things: the humility of God is His style; the simplicity of God is His style. And even in the liturgical celebration, in the sacraments, what is beautiful is that which manifests the humility of God, and not the worldly spectacle. It would do us good to journey through our life and to consider the many times the Lord has visited us with His grace, and always with this humble style, the style He calls us, too, to have: humility.”How many times have I tried to figure out the complicated nature of God? The answer to that question is incalculable. Just this morning, for example.
—Pope Francis, daily homily, 3/9/15. Read more. (found on The Deacon's Bench ... if you don't follow, you should - he's got all kinds of fantastic stuff each day)
At our parish we have Eucharistic Adoration every day between the Daily Masses. It's fantastic. How often do I take advantage? Less often than I really want to, but each day for anywhere from 3 minutes to a Rosary length of time. I've been praying the 54 Day Rosary Novena (concluding this Friday), and I've been trying to do so in front of the Blessed Sacrament - at least Jesus in the Tabernacle, if I miss the Adoration time, or it's canceled.
This morning I walked over to the Church to put a timesheet away in the Sacristy and noticed that Jesus was all alone. If you're a Catholic, you probably know that we want Jesus to always have company when He's exposed for Adoration (the King of Kings should always have His court with Him). So I quickly walked over to my office to grab my Rosary and this book I'm reading to spend some time with the Lord.
I've been praying the 54 day Novena for the intention of finding my spouse. Basically that is just code for figuring out where the Lord wants me, what he needs me to do, and how I am supposed to accomplish it. I know the big picture answers to these questions: in Heaven, be a saint, and with every action. But the small picture answers aren't so simple. He placed me in this position of Office Manager over 2 years ago, but is it where He wants me to stay? Is my next job just not visible to me or am I ignoring the signs that the Lord is sending because I despise change? Or does my work have nothing to do with all this, just a means to something else?
Today, and a lot lately, I've been reflecting on my singleness and whether it will remain forever or just for a time. I don't know the answer to that question. If I did, my prayer life would look a lot different.
Anyway, after I was finished praying the Rosary, I was just sitting with Him asking all kinds of questions of "WHY?" What do you want from me? Am I listening? Why is this where you want me? He urged me to open the book I'd brought over, "open the Therese book."
I've been reading Shirt of Flame by Heather King. I got this book as a gift for my birthday last year and am just now reading through it. There have been a lot of really great passages. Today this is where I was:
I also knew that my passion for writing stemmed from perhaps the wrong reason: my idea that if my love would not bear fruit in a person, maybe it would bear fruit in my work. If I could not focus my love on a person, at least I could focus it on my essays and stories and books. That opened me to a different kind of pain when, as had happened of late, my work was not succeeding in the way I'd envisioned, and was one more illusion of which I recognized, however dimly, that I was being, or would have to be, stripped. (pg 108)The next couple of pages talk about how Therese begins Story with this quote: "[I]t isn't about my life, properly speaking, that I'm going to write, it's about my thoughts concerning the graces that God has consented to grant me" [SS, p4]. King writes that all accounts of the spiritual life are accounts of the Death and Resurrection of Jesus Christ. We all have those times. That was, in essence, the story of Therese. How she experienced the Death and Resurrection.
How does this fit with the quote from the Holy Father from above? Well, I think this is all part of my story of how I'm experiencing the Death and Resurrection. How I'm experiencing the Lord. How I am finding my way to sainthood, my path to Heaven. That's really the question I have for him. How will I get to Heaven?
Beautiful Sunsets waiting for the traffic to pass so I can pull out of my housing complex! |
The reflection from Papa Frank helps to explain it - simply. Look for the Lord in the simple things. See Him in everything. As MG always says (about the most mundane things), "look how the Lord loved you today." Like a lover, He's wooing me in every aspect of my life. I'm looking so hard for a grand gesture, I'm missing the simple, beautiful, every day ways that He's sharing His love for me.
Katie, thank you for such a beautifully written post full of needed reminders. I also have struggled with looking at the big picture rather than seeing the simple ways God is blessing my life. God bless you. :)
ReplyDeletethanks for reading! :)
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