As a single young Catholic, my friends I discuss marriage a lot - what do we want from our future marriages (or current marriages for those of my friends who are married), how can we prepare for marriage, what kind of man (or woman, but I don't discuss this a lot with my male friends) do we want to marry, are there things we need to change about ourselves before we get married, do we want to get married, what would we do with ourselves if we don't ever get married (single forever, UGH, religious life, eek, ...)
One of the biggest problems with the idea of marriage in our culture is that young people see all of these couples who seem happy but later on are getting divorced - 3 years in, the 7 year itch, or the bigger shocker - after 20 or 30 years of marriage getting divorced.
Side note for a second: if you think that your marriage should look the same at 55 after kids, grand-kids 25 years of marriage (probably 30 years of knowing each other), aging, etc... then you are CRAZY! Yes, I said it - of course it's different! Here's the problem - you want to be 25 years old again when you didn't have a care in the world, not a problem on the horizon, you could stay out until 3am drinking and no one was waiting for you at home. Do you remember being poor and lonely then too? No, that's because you've put it from your mind, you've forgotten the hard part about being 25, single, and in a hard, bad paying job. Being single isn't all it's cracked up to be! When you were 25 all you did was dream about 'growing old' with someone, having kids and raising them better than your parents did, and working your way up on the career ladder so you could make more money, have more power, and gain more prestige.
Here's the thing - we all change, we all grow, we are on a continuous journey toward ... something, hopefully for you it is salvation and eternal life (for some, they won't accept that).
What started this rant, I'm sure you're asking? Well, it was this post that someone put on facebook.
Marriage on your Mind: 50 Best Proposals
Why would that set me off? Well, as I was reading it all I kept thinking was how almost all of them presumed that you were living with your significant other. Cohabitation has become the norm and it's not doing anything good for marriage - the divorce rate is even worse, up words of 65% - some estimate it to be 75%.
Now this is not a rant on anyone who lived together before they were married - however, this is not an ideal state. Just a comment on the state of all this our country.
When I think of my future marriage (God willing), all I want is the best for both of us. I want to be as prepared as possible so that I can be the best wife I can be for him. When I do wed, it will be forever - as a path to our salvation and the salvation of our children.
Young men and women prepare yourselves for your future vocations - marriage, religious life, ordained life, etc... It's more than just a big party, a way to have kids 'within the Church rules', and save some money on the bills. It concerns our salvation, our purpose for life in the eyes of God, and the spreading of the Gospel in our world!
One of the biggest problems with the idea of marriage in our culture is that young people see all of these couples who seem happy but later on are getting divorced - 3 years in, the 7 year itch, or the bigger shocker - after 20 or 30 years of marriage getting divorced.
Side note for a second: if you think that your marriage should look the same at 55 after kids, grand-kids 25 years of marriage (probably 30 years of knowing each other), aging, etc... then you are CRAZY! Yes, I said it - of course it's different! Here's the problem - you want to be 25 years old again when you didn't have a care in the world, not a problem on the horizon, you could stay out until 3am drinking and no one was waiting for you at home. Do you remember being poor and lonely then too? No, that's because you've put it from your mind, you've forgotten the hard part about being 25, single, and in a hard, bad paying job. Being single isn't all it's cracked up to be! When you were 25 all you did was dream about 'growing old' with someone, having kids and raising them better than your parents did, and working your way up on the career ladder so you could make more money, have more power, and gain more prestige.
Here's the thing - we all change, we all grow, we are on a continuous journey toward ... something, hopefully for you it is salvation and eternal life (for some, they won't accept that).
What started this rant, I'm sure you're asking? Well, it was this post that someone put on facebook.
Marriage on your Mind: 50 Best Proposals
Why would that set me off? Well, as I was reading it all I kept thinking was how almost all of them presumed that you were living with your significant other. Cohabitation has become the norm and it's not doing anything good for marriage - the divorce rate is even worse, up words of 65% - some estimate it to be 75%.
Now this is not a rant on anyone who lived together before they were married - however, this is not an ideal state. Just a comment on the state of all this our country.
When I think of my future marriage (God willing), all I want is the best for both of us. I want to be as prepared as possible so that I can be the best wife I can be for him. When I do wed, it will be forever - as a path to our salvation and the salvation of our children.
Young men and women prepare yourselves for your future vocations - marriage, religious life, ordained life, etc... It's more than just a big party, a way to have kids 'within the Church rules', and save some money on the bills. It concerns our salvation, our purpose for life in the eyes of God, and the spreading of the Gospel in our world!
Great post! I have an idea of why people need to be so 'over the top' when it comes to public proposals and exotic weddings. They have already spent themselves.
ReplyDeleteThey have no regard for the holiness and mystery that the Sacrament of Marriage is supposed to be. So, they have to do all kinds of silly things and make a spectacle of themselves.
You are smart to have "holy annoyance" for what they are doing. I would love for you to check out my blog and would appreciate you feedback. God bless! Cindy