The saints always have the most thought provoking wisdom. So, Jeanne, let us consider - 'am I my own cross.' Do I make things more difficult for myself by getting in my own way. I remember that old story about the woman who thought her cross was too heavy and kept asking the Lord to give her a different cross. So, He lead her into a room full of a million crosses. He tells her to choose whichever she would prefer. She looks around and sees all of these very heavy crosses. She becomes more and more distressed the more she goes through the many rooms and sees bigger and bigger crosses. Then, all of a sudden she comes across these perfectly sized one, picks it up, and tells the Lord, "yes, this is the one I'll take - it's definitely the perfect size for me, manageable to carry, and just the right size.' And the Lord says to her, 'my daughter, that is the cross you entered with.'
Am I my own worst enemy? Probably, yes. I have such a hard time letting things go, allowing forgiveness to wash over me, and confronting my own character flaws. Not only do I avoid confrontation with other people who have done things wrong, I avoid it with people who I have offended in some fashion, and in some ways, i avoid it with myself. I'm not even good at confronting my own flaws - that are all fixable if I take enough time to appropriately fix them.
So this week - working on keeping my lips shut in times of trial instead of letting the words just shoot out of me like a gun without the safety.