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the beginning

Since I was very young I always thought I would be a teacher and a mom. I was always playing house, teaching the baby dolls, and playing the part. In high school my best friends were the other kids in my youth group, those whose faith was also important to them. It seems that the Lord had different plans for me, and probably for the best.

I went to college with the intention of being a youth minister (which I am now) and finding the husband - the one God set apart for me. Well, met some really great guys - none of them the one for me. Some are engaged now, married already with a few kids, or have joined the monastery (I went to a Benedictine college - many of the guys making life-long decisions to join this religious life). I left still waiting ... practicing all of that patience that I had asked the Lord for ... possibly the first mistake! You know what they say - when you pray for patience, God doesn't give patience, He provides opportunities for you to grow in patience. He's giving lots of opportunities, continuously giving them, and probably has lots more in mind for me.

Now, everyone around me is getting married! Both of my best friends from high school ... S & E. S has been married now for 3 years, prego with #2 girl - living out her dream life as wife, mom, & YM with her very ambitious husband. They've started a new Catholic Youth Ministry Speaker organization and are extraordinarily happy, loving life. Then E is getting married to her African boyfriend this coming June. They met online, she lives in Pittsburgh, he across the state in Harrisburg and they are making it work. We're talking about bridesmaid dresses (wedding #2 for me), flowers, music, reception decorations, etc... It's all so exciting - really it is, but there are so many details to think about and I love weddings, marriage, babies - I just wish it was my wedding, married, and baby!

So, that's my life so far - always something new ... feels like there's always another reason to wait - always more to prepare for, and always an opportunity to trust the Lord. It says somewhere in Psalms "be patient and wait on the Lord" ... His plan for us is always better than the vision we have for ourselves, we can't even imagine the joy, happiness, and greatness He has called us to. I know all of that, I teach others all of that - I just have trouble truly believing and knowing it's true in my own life.

This blog's going to be a place for me to spit all of that out, take time to write, and maybe provide some wisdom for myself to lean on, trust in, and take into my own heart.
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