Waiting for Patience

The last time I was at the doctor I was talking about my health, which was great, and I mentioned that I wanted to make some changes to be healthier (read: smaller). I prefaced my question with something that I know to do which is to lose weight: exercise more and eat less. Dr. W confirmed it is really all about math - more calories out than in. Her advice wasn't just "eat less, exercise more." It was actually more helpful, take the next year and make a different lifestyle change every month and in a year your life will be different. I really took that to heart and when I got home, I made a list of 12 habits or lifestyle changes that I wanted to undertake. I gave myself credit for a few that I had started a while ago that were great changes that I felt made a huge difference. At the end of the year I will probably have made about 7 or 8 overall changes but some of them were steps to bigger things. They are small steps that have made a huge difference in my life. I'v...

Happy Feast! Today is Pentecost and that means that the Holy Spirit was the person of the Trinity on the stage during Mass today. Fr. C's homily got me thinking about my own plan. He was talking about how the Apostles received the Holy Spirit just like we have, but the manifestation of the spirit looks completely different in our lives than in theirs. I'm not speaking in tongues, moving the world, etc... He proposed a reason and asked us to think about all of the prayers we've ever prayed. Then take all of the prayers that sound like this "Lord I need help with X," "Please give me Y," and "Remove Z suffering from my life" and place them on one side of the scale. Then on the other side of the scale put every time you've whole-heartedly said "Lord do with me what you will." This got me thinking about my life and my plan for it. More and more I think that the plan I see for my life is not what the Lord has in store for me. I have h...

I've written about this a lot ( here ) or at least thought about it a lot in my mind. I think about the expectations I have for my life more than I probably should. How I'm perceived not only by others but by myself. This might sound strange, but it's one of the reasons I write in this space. It's great when others read it and comment about how I'm being ridiculous or how I'm saying the things they are thinking. But the main purpose is for me to look back and see where I've been and where I'm going. When I first moved to Charlotte I wrote in a journal every day for an Advent thing and then just kept going for many years. I've gone back to read those and have enjoyed getting lost in my memories. I know that sounds like of silly - but writing things down as I'm feeling them helps me to understand more about who I am, what I'm really thinking and feeling, and how I've changed and grown over the years. I'm not someone who throws those t...

Yesterday at Mass as I was looking at all of the covered statues in my parish and Fr. W was preaching, I was reminded of something I always forget, especially at this time of the year. I forget how incredible and amazing it is that Jesus died on the Cross for me. Not just for the whole world, but that He did it for me. I know that seems like a silly thing to forget - I know He died on the Cross. I don't forget about the Crucifixion. I forget that He loved me so individually and singularly that He died on the Cross for me. I forget how amazing that is especially when life is kind of awful at times. Maybe not awful, but just hard. Lately life has been a little hard. I thought something great was going to happen and then it was nothing - and not just nothing, but almost my biggest fear. Instead of the happily ever after, I got the "oh, well, I guess this is it, then." And moving right along to pick up my guard where I dropped it a few months ago. This all happened rig...

I've been thinking a lot about control lately. How much I want to have it in conjunction with how few things are actually in my control. I don't know about you, but this is a huge point of contention for me in prayer. I want certain things in my life, I don't want to have to wait another 10 years or even 5 years to be married and have a family. I wrote about this a few weeks ago when I was trying to love my crazy life rather than fight against myself ( check it out ). It's come up even more this week though with work and life and Lent. That's really the sticking point for me now. Lent 2016. There are so many things I cannot control in my life. My metabolism, my family, friends, boys, my parish, plus a million and one other things. So I'm trying to discipline the things that I do have control over so I can more easily embrace the things I don't have control over. I can control what I put into my body and whether I exercise every day or not. I can do som...

I've been meaning to write about this subject for weeks - and after four conversations this past week with this exact topic with friends, I'm even more convicted to write about it. Also Not Alone Series  posts begin again next Tuesday with Rachel and Lindsay  (new hosts!!), and I want to get back into the writing groove. Because I like sharing, I think I have something to say (at least to myself, future Katie, to look back on), and I'm looking for new stress relief so get ready! I have a tendency to over-analyze things - which if you know me in real life you would never  think! So over the last 18 months of being present in the online dating circle, I'm giving it up. I've also spend the last few weeks reading the beginning of this book by Aziz Ansari (it was only $3.99 so I splurged). He and this other guy Eric did a lot of research about Modern Romance  and are bringing it back to the people. The book puts in writing a lot of the things I'm experiencing i...

“This is how the Lord acts: He does things simply. He speaks silently to you, to the heart. Let us remember in our lives the many time we have felt these things: the humility of God is His style; the simplicity of God is His style. And even in the liturgical celebration, in the sacraments, what is beautiful is that which manifests the humility of God, and not the worldly spectacle. It would do us good to journey through our life and to consider the many times the Lord has visited us with His grace, and always with this humble style, the style He calls us, too, to have: humility.” —Pope Francis, daily homily, 3/9/15. Read more.  (found on The Deacon's Bench ... if you don't follow, you should - he's got all kinds of fantastic stuff each day) How many times have I tried to figure out the complicated nature of God? The answer to that question is incalculable . Just this morning, for example. At our parish we have Eucharistic Adoration every day between the Daily Masses. I...

We all have times when we feel alone. What are ways that you combat loneliness? Pray? Join a group? How can we encourage each other to stay positive? Thanks to Laura P ! This week's topic is loneliness. I have many thoughts on this subject, and many instances of feeling this feeling - they don't all really go together, so I'm just going to bullet point my thoughts and see what happens! When I bought my townhouse and starting living alone, I thought I would be lonely. And there are times when I wish I had someone to come home to at night, a shoulder to cry on, or a listening ear to let go of all the craziness of my day. But most days I'm actually glad for the quiet, for the peace, and for the ability to do yoga in the living room, watch three episodes of Jane the Virgin , and cook whatever I please without having to do someone else's dishes before starting. Most of the time, at home, I am alone, but not lonely. As all of my friends get married, buy houses, ...

What are the qualities and characteristics that you are looking for in your future husband? We have talked about what we don't want , but it's good to have an idea of those things that are important to us. Discerning religious life? This applies to communities, as well! This is a topic I think about all the time, if I'm being honest, too much really.  Since I was a little girl I've always wanted to be married and have children.  Now I'm almost (too close) to 30 and still unmarried and only have godchildren (lovely though).  I went back to look at the deal breakers post I wrote before and on the bottom I already listed what I'd like for in a marriage to recap: The men leads spiritually. The couple respects each other. Each spouse is trying to grow in virtue and they encourage each other. Since then and since having my house for a few months, I've come to have a few more qualities that I would like in a husband.  Nothing too specific, but I ...

Have you seen this movie ? It was put out about six years ago and has one of my favorite actors, T.J. Thyne , from Bones .  I know it's a little long - almost 15 minutes actually.   And it's almost like a silent movie - no words. I was thinking about it last night when I couldn't sleep.  Where do I get my validation from?  Who do I get my validation from?  What am I seeking validation for? All of these are difficult questions have intellectual answers for me, what I should be thinking and telling myself to do.  Simply that I am a daughter of God, I am validated  because I have dignity because I am a a beautiful creation of His. But in the middle of the night when the doubts and probings from satan creep from the background into the foreground, my answers don't come out as clear.  They come out as messy, ugly lies (he knows my buttons very well).  That there's nowhere for me to be validated, no one willing to validate me, and everyt...

What ways do you run to implore the Lord's help when you are struggling? Do you always spend time in Adoration? Do you dive into the bible? Automatically go to Confession? Could you be better? And what about those times when things are good and you are joyous? Do you still give the Lord your time? I was contemplating whether I was going to write this week or not since I'm out of town for work.  I'm visiting at Our Sunday Visitor  until Thursday, so today has been filled with lots of traveling, meeting new people, and even an on camera interview!  A pretty exciting day! Then when we got back from dinner earlier than expected, I figured I would share what I do when I'm struggling...  Great Question! Ever since I became more involved in my faith the Hail Mary  has been my go to prayer in times of need.  So I usually go back there any time I'm struggling with the single life, scared in the middle of the night when I wake up to a startling sound...