This week's topic is loneliness. I have many thoughts on this subject, and many instances of feeling this feeling - they don't all really go together, so I'm just going to bullet point my thoughts and see what happens!
- When I bought my townhouse and starting living alone, I thought I would be lonely. And there are times when I wish I had someone to come home to at night, a shoulder to cry on, or a listening ear to let go of all the craziness of my day. But most days I'm actually glad for the quiet, for the peace, and for the ability to do yoga in the living room, watch three episodes of Jane the Virgin, and cook whatever I please without having to do someone else's dishes before starting. Most of the time, at home, I am alone, but not lonely.
- As all of my friends get married, buy houses, and have kiddos, who I love - I needed a group of people who were in a similar place that I was emotionally, ie: single. So I started going to events at the parish in Uptown's Young Adult Ministry. Now I lead their bi-weekly Spirituality Group where we have about 12 to 15 people who gather to study the upcoming readings and learn more about the faith. Although not many of these have turned into real friendships (ie: we get together at times other than the every other Wednesday scheduled group), I do appreciate getting to know others and being able to discuss my faith, learn from my peers, and grow the Kingdom.
- This weekend at Mass the psalm response was "Praise the Lord who heals the broken hearted, praise the Lord." As we were singing that over and over, I could only think about when my heart is most broken and how the Lord comes into the picture. I was thinking about how He wouldn't have to keep on healing it if He would just stop breaking it! He gives me a glimpse, a nice young man who sits in front of me one week at Mass and even an evening of conversation with him - and then he never comes back! What is the Lord doing? Seems like if He worked on the thing breaking my heart then He wouldn't have to keep healing the brokenness. Now, I know that's not really how this works, I know that there's more to all of our lives than just 'give her a husband and all will be well again.' If there's brokenness, then not only can a man not fix that, the expectation that he will is too much of a burden to lay on one person. But it sounds pithy and fun.
And this tune helps too!