Waiting for Patience

It's not the first time, and I'm certain it won't be the last. Friends, acquaintances, random strangers on the internet are complaining or claiming something is the end of the world. Well, that happens all the time, probably the reason why Al Gore invented the internet (hahah, just a little political joke there). Then all you can think is "if only my life included just one of those things you don't seem to want..." When I turned 30 I had some issues with expectations ( on my actual BDay ). I thought I would be a mother with some cute kiddos by then, or at least a wife. Not that I would be living alone, single, still long-term relationship-less. I had those same issues when I turned 31 this year. So much so I told my friends I didn't want to actually celebrate my birthday - especially not on the day. Which, if you're thinking "that's a bad idea" - then you'd be right. It was really hard the actual day of when the one day of the yea...

I saw this article on Verily last week and thought it was really good. Then I read the comment below and was a little disappointed. It's not terrible - but is from a the perspective of a married girl. As I read it (probably not her intention) it implies that she is upset with the writer because the writer indicates somethings she wants her married friends to do to keep their relationship going after the wedding. Now that would be a fine article to write - and I might even end up doing that here this evening - however, it is a two-way street. This is the nature of relationships. They are two-way streets. All relationships are about give and take - if they aren't, then they are usually contracts and one party is being paid. I don't know about you, but I don't pay anyone to be friends with me ... although sometimes that doesn't sound like a bad idea. The author's ideas to share with her married friends are super simple and not invasive or even too taxing on he...

I've written about this a lot ( here ) or at least thought about it a lot in my mind. I think about the expectations I have for my life more than I probably should. How I'm perceived not only by others but by myself. This might sound strange, but it's one of the reasons I write in this space. It's great when others read it and comment about how I'm being ridiculous or how I'm saying the things they are thinking. But the main purpose is for me to look back and see where I've been and where I'm going. When I first moved to Charlotte I wrote in a journal every day for an Advent thing and then just kept going for many years. I've gone back to read those and have enjoyed getting lost in my memories. I know that sounds like of silly - but writing things down as I'm feeling them helps me to understand more about who I am, what I'm really thinking and feeling, and how I've changed and grown over the years. I'm not someone who throws those t...

When (if ever) is okay to tell your friend your dream isn't going to come true? I'm now 31 and 3 weeks old. That doesn't seem too old to me, for anything, except probably the kiddie rides at Disney and toddler time at most parks. I mean, there are probably a few other things as well. I am probably too old to dream of being an astronaut or a firefighter. Although I could always go back to school for a new career. I mean, less than a year ago I just started a new career in a profession I had no experience in when I joined OSV and their sales team. But in the last week or so, I've heard from more than one friend that I might not get the dream of raising children and growing old with my husband. That it might be time to abandon that dream because if I want to be married, I need to take a look at who's interested and not be so picky. I know you're going to need a lot more context for this discussion than I'm willing to give at this point - but I think I'l...

I have an on-again, off-again relationship with this blog; however, today, I went back to share a post I did two years ago about palm Sunday and my experience of being in a palm parade  when I was in the Congo. I realized that over the course of a year, I was writing more often, a couple of times a week. I also realized that I was much more content with myself. I also had coffee with a really good friend this afternoon with some amazing conversation about the topic of "being content with myself" and blogging came back to my mind. Before heading home I stopped in at Barnes and Noble to see if they had Arleen Spenceley's new book ( her blog ), which they didn't have, unfortunately. I wondered over to the journal section and almost purchased a 5-year journal ( like this one ). I've considered buying this journal for more than a year and have passed on it from amazon so many times - including today. This is all leading somewhere ... I promise ... not sure where, bu...

Have you ever had people in your life who have expectations of what your life is like, as a single person? Do friends or family ever make assumptions about your life simply because you're unmarried? Did you ever have expectations about being single which turned out to be different than the reality? How do you manage the expectations of others with the reality of your day-to-day? Boy I have a LOT of thoughts on this ... hopefully they will be written coherently and not all over the place! There are two questions here: Do I have expectations of what the single life is? AND Do others place expectations on me because I'm single? Although I think the prompt is really getting at the latter, the former is more of a big deal for me right now and has been on the last fifteen years of my life. So I will get the easy one out of the way and then deal with the more difficult. Do other people have expectations of me? Yes, of course - I have them of others. Do they interfere ...

Years ago I read part of this book, 20 Something Manifesto , and the one thing I remember was her discussing what she called Expectation Hangovers .  She defines them as a "group of undesirable feelings that arise when a desired result isn't met." ( source ) We'll I'm having one this weekend.  I wrote on Friday (ie: Thursday evening for 7QT) about how my house was supposed to be done on Friday and today I would be super ready to move back in, having floors to walk on downstairs, curtains up, furniture in its place, and everything!  Well, welcome to the hangover. They began to lay the floor and then I was called to the house in a state of panic because it was looking like this: It's hard to see, but the finishes are different on the boards - so when the light hits it and it goes all the way down the hallway, it will look, well as Ben (the contractor said), "not terrible...".  UM... we're going through this whole thing I want my floor to ...