I'm now 31 and 3 weeks old. That doesn't seem too old to me, for anything, except probably the kiddie rides at Disney and toddler time at most parks. I mean, there are probably a few other things as well. I am probably too old to dream of being an astronaut or a firefighter. Although I could always go back to school for a new career. I mean, less than a year ago I just started a new career in a profession I had no experience in when I joined OSV and their sales team. But in the last week or so, I've heard from more than one friend that I might not get the dream of raising children and growing old with my husband. That it might be time to abandon that dream because if I want to be married, I need to take a look at who's interested and not be so picky.
I know you're going to need a lot more context for this discussion than I'm willing to give at this point - but I think I'll be able to do a good enough job.
This past weekend I was a Maid of Honor at the most beautiful wedding of my best friend and her new husband. It was an amazing ceremony to bind these two together in front of God and everyone after walking with them over the last few years of their relationship. It was an honor to be part of it. The hard part is that my best friend (and last single friend) is now a married woman and I'm still only RSVPing for 1 at any gathering.
I really thought there was something going with this guy earlier this year. We had a mutual friend introduce us with the express purpose of discerning a relationship (or at least I thought). He lived far away so we talked on the phone a couple times a week and then he flew out to meet me only to let me know he knows for certainty that God is calling him to be a priest. WHAT?! Dream of having a date to the wedding ... crushed. Probably for the best since I was SUPER busy all day - but still, dream destroyed.
There aren't usually a lot of men asking for my company on a date so March has been quite a busy month in comparison - but with men who want to be priests and who are too old for me. UGH! NOT the dream!
But back to my point - when is it okay to abandon the dream? When does an almost two decade (if ever) age difference stop being an issue? At what age does having a big family (or any family) become a non-factor?
I've got advice from friends and acquaintances that contradicts one another on this subject. Some who have a vested interest in me being married and some who have a vested interest in me being happy. I dream that one day those two will be able to be achieved at the same time - but happy is what I'm going for first. I know that life won't always be puppy dogs and rainbows and not every day will be a happy-fest. That's not what I'm talking about here. I'm talking about overall vision of my life, where it's going, what the next 50 years will look like - I'm going for happy. I hope that includes marriage - but I know for certain I don't want marriage with happy. That sounds like more of a nightmare than a dream.